Anyhow, this year as I pondered over what word I should choose, the word linger just kept popping into my head. I let it rustle around in there for a few days, thinking about how much I'd like to just slow everything down and cherish the little moments in life. To enjoy breathing in and breathing out, to savor the aroma of fresh coffee in the morning, to take time each day to bask in the sun and take in our beautiful new view of the Boise foothills. To just drench my soul in the small but meaningful things in life. And I thought the word was {good}.
Then, I decided to go online and check out the definition of linger, to see how it really fit. The first and third definitions were pretty much what I was expecting...
"to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave" and "to dwell in contemplation, thought or enjoyment".And then I saw the second definition, and I knew the word was {perfect}. It was exactly what my heart has been feeling as I've tried to prepare myself for this next step in our lives.
"to remain alive; continue or persist, although gradually dying, ceasing or disappearing"
As I spent the holidays surrounded by people, feeling increasingly alone as they only seemed interested in talking about the babies and the pregnancy, I just wanted to shout that I'm still a person. I felt myself disappearing, fading into nothingness, feeling an increasing desperation that in just a few short months my life will change forever. So to me, this word, linger, gives me hope that I can stay alive and soldier on despite these feelings. That I can take the time to savor our last moments as a twosome and then make the transition to enjoy what being a foursome has in store for us. To run the race that is set before us and to appreciate the smallest moments of each day that in themselves are what makes this grand life meaningful.
So with that said, I hope that you find a little time to linger this year. Dwell in enjoyment... bask in the little things... take your time when the world tells you you must rush about... linger.
"Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone." - Anonymous
20 comments
Beautiful, Julee! Your life is about to change in such a big way with your boys, but take the time to soak it all in! The time goes SO SO FAST! OH, and in the beginning, family will only care about the babies (LOL), but they'll get over it and you'll be important at some time in the near future :) I had the same feelings when I had my girls! I used to get to my Mom's house and after 15 or so minutes, I would say.....I'm here, too, you know!
Anyhow, I hope you and Mark have a fantastic new year! Just linger.....
This is so good... your writing and your thoughts brought tears to my eyes! God has something so great instore for me and my hubby too this year... and I will linger close to Him until He shows me exactly what it is.
Oh, and congratulations on being a momma!
{{HUGS}} to you, Carin
Congratulations on the twins but yes, that is a hard thing to find yourself sometimes amongst all that goes on. I totally missed the boat on your pregnancy announcement.
Absolutely beautiful, Julee! What a great word with a great definition! You have such a gift for writing and sharing. I really appreciate it. Thank you for touching my life in a meaningful way in 2011. I wish you all the best in 2012!
I stare at the Owyhee mountains so I know how calming that can be!
you really know how to pull at my heartstrings and get me all teary eyed. Your words are so eloquent and honest and heartfelt. It can be very easy to get lost in parenthood but I have the utmost faith that with this past year of soul searching and rebirth, you are in good shape for the upcoming changes. Even as a young mom, one thing I knew as I was raising my son was to make time for me...happy mom, happy children (like the wife/life quote!). I love that word linger...subtle, soft and delightful...just like a lover's first kiss :) New Year Blessing to you and Mark...it will be wonderful because you will make it so :)
Love your word and my heart went out to you Julee as you felt alone amidst the family and friends (((hugs)))!!
Funny thing is I can use this word too but from the other end of the spectrum. I am already beginning to linger/cherish the time I have with my kids before they move out. Crazy thing is one is just a teen and one a preteen but oh how I want to pour all I can into their lives, to equip them for life as best I can, to pour God's Word, love and faithfulness into their lives, to model and disciple, to love and to discipline to laugh and to cry with, and to leave my fingerprints on their hearts. To drink deep of special times with them and to cherish those times in my heart.
Also want to linger in the God's Word and in His presence in a deeper way this year (as per the first definition), for it is there that life breathes meaning, direction and fulfillment for me. Great word! Thanks for sharing your heart and for the thoughts it provided mine :) My prayers will be with you (((hugs))).
I just loved reading this post today and when I caught the news of your pregnancy and with twins my heart was so happy for you-life takes on mnay twists and turns but this one is the most fantastic-you will get to shape 2 lives-a big congrats to you and your hubby
Love the word "linger," Julee. I can remember using it in an essay in a literary criticism class years ago, and the professor shouting (in his red ink on the page) "YES! That's it, exactly!" and underlining the word several times. I felt so validated, I truly wanted to jump for joy. My heart swells, just thinking about that moment. :) And believe me, I know where you're coming from, feeling like your identity is fading fast. When I first quit my job (I was a prof. at a local university) when Carter was diagnosed, and Sean was shortly thereafter elected to office, I felt like I, all of a sudden, went from a person in my own right to being thought of as someone's wife or mother. Not that those aren't the best jobs in the world, but I missed feeling 'recognized' for myself. I get you! Beautiful, thoughtful post. :)
I am so happy I found your blog! Your style is unique and worth of studying... Here in Greece card making is quite new but I know that you will give me lot of inspiration to try and do my best :)
Did I understand well? you are going to be a mommy? How wonderful... Few days ago, I was thinking that 2011 was really fast for me... So I decided to slow down and try to feel, hear and see what I have next to me, mostly my family. It is difficult when we face all these changes around us... So Happy New Year, with Health & Love for you and your family
Julee, thank you for sharing from your heart. Your words have hit home with me as I've tried to sort out what my new year ahead should be. I love this word "linger" and all that it entails. I have been wanting to slow my life down and really focus on what is important - relationships - with God, family and friends and now so much on the busyness of life and the demands it places on me. This thought of lingering really resonates with me as I move ahead determined to grow in my in my walk with God and strengthen my relationship with my husband, son and then friends.
I thank you for helping put this all into some semblance of order now.
I pray that you will truly be able to Linger as you wish and then that the new shape of your life will bring its own times to linger and relish whatever it is that God puts before you. Many blessings in 2012.
Thanks for sharing your feelings with us! I can't tell you how touched I was when I read your blog! So excited for you at the news that you are expecting twins!!! I think that is awesome! You are going to be a great mom it shows in your words! My hubby and I were talking at lunch today because our son left for college and before he left he asked us, "how can I be sure that my children will appreciate and care about me like I do for you...(he is not a typical 19 year old) :0 We are truly blessed. We came to the realization is that maybe he turned out so well cause we talked to him all the time and still do! I know you didn't ask me for advice on child rearing...but I felt compelled to tell you.....If nothing els,e talk to your children constantly about everything and nothing!
Hugs!
Nancy
Linger is the perfect word for this year...you'll enjoy those babies and savor the moments. Life is about changes and you have made some amazing ones - following your artistic vision, starting your business, inspiring so many of us....heck babies will be a breeze! Don't linger too long in labor though :)
I love all your creations and they like these words come from your heart. Ensure you try to keep some creative times so that in those moments you can be "you". Take care and thanks for sharing.
What a precious post, Julee. I remember being in tears after bringing our new little girl into my in-laws house and them saying hello to her and never a word to me. It was almost like I no longer had an identity. Enjoy these days before parenthood and realize that for a few months afterward things won't be "the same". You'll be tired, Mark will be tired. You'll feel like you'll never have time just to enjoy each other again. But it will come, I promise. Take time, after the littles come and you're too tired to think, to squeeze Mark's hand or smile into his eyes or rub his shoulders. Little acts of kindness and love will go a long way during that time. Savor this time right now artistically and let God direct your output. Some days you may feel very creative and some days you won't. And that's OK!! You are in a special season of life and you are so right to linger there, until the time comes to move ahead into your new normal.
Blessings!!
Tricia
dear Julee,
this feeling of being all alone even though you're surrounded by people is one I'm intimately familiar with. It was something I experienced myself last year and it wasn't until I slowed down a little and took the time to reflect that I realized I was the reason why I had felt that way. I expected myself to be Superwoman! And well...all that pressure and stress finally caught up with me last year and I had to admit to myself that I'm not Superwoman...(well at least not ALL the time ;) and that's ok. That same day I made the deal (with myself) to slow down a little and cut myself some slack every now and then.
Julee, you are a Superwoman in my book but even a Superwoman is allowed a day off...or two. And when it's that day then it's perfectly ok for you to say "Hi I'm Julee, remember me?"
I'm sure your family and friends will understand if you declare a "no-baby-talk-afternoon" or a "baby-talk-free-zone". Hehe and if they're a little slow to take to this idea you can always introduce the $1 violation fee. ;) Call it the babies' college fund ;)
Oh Julee I can only imagine how intimidating this time must be for you right now but I know that God made us women 'mothers' and mothers are special. I have never heard a mother regret having given birth to her child or wishing her child didn't demand so much attention. I believe God gave mothers special gifts that will come naturally and even though you might feel alone and overwhelmed right now...this feeling won't linger for long.
Yes your life will change....but for the better. Cherish these days, take a few moments to pause, let the world slow down a bit and look brightly towards tomorrow.
love you lots!!! :)
Sony
Praying for you even when we don't chat for a few days (weeks). Loved your post and have such an appreciation for how honest you are. Hugs!
What a great word choice - I contemplated savor..
Blessings this year!
http://bit.ly/AACJEx
Following you from Layla's word party-Stop by for a visit!
I know I am reading this weeks after you wrote it, but I just have to say that your choice of word {linger} is a perfect selection. You will have so much to linger over during this busy time. Sounds kind of contradictory, but it's true. You will linger over the memories for many years. I speak from experience. I remember moving into new houses twice while I was pregnant. It is exhausting, and emotional. And pregnancy brings alot of surprises along they way, often so unexpected. Like twins. I have a sister with twin boys, and the day they were born, I remember sitting with my brother in law in the cafeteria at the hospital. He looked at my mom and I and said "How did this happen? 18 months ago I was a carefree batchlor, and now I am married, the father of three (my sister had a 9 year old daughter before she married), with two houses (had not sold the little 1 bedroom house yet), two cats, a dog, and a yard full of chickens! How lucky can a guy get?" On new years eve they celbrated their 28th wedding anniversary.
You will have this to look forward to, too.....someday.
Post a Comment