Relentless Persistence

My boys are tenacious. They're persistent. And they're relentless. Today I have aches and pains beyond my 42 years and the beginnings of a migraine the size of Texas. I feel like death warmed over, like moving the 6 feet from the couch to the coffee maker is just too far. AND YET... through sheer relentless determination, in under one hour of being solo with them, the twins wore my defenses down and convinced me to go out to the garage and shimmy between the treadmill covered in boxes for Goodwill and the queen size mattress and box spring that we've been meaning to get rid of, to search for the bean bag toss game that's been collecting dust for over a year.

They played bean bag toss yesterday at Nana and Papa's house. They're now OBSESSED. I've heard the replay of all 5.5 games they played at least 3 times... from each boy. I've quietly nodded my appreciation and expressed what I hope is the appropriate excitement and heartache at the score sheet and the winners list. I've said, yes, at some point, we can find the bean bag toss and you can play it at home. With "someday" meaning on a weekend when Mark is here to move the mattresses and there's a human buffer for me to put on my noise-canceling headphones and ignore the hours of fighting, screaming, and utter cries of desolation that are sure to come whenever these two compete.

But the minute Mark left this morning, it was all about the bean bag toss. Maybe they could just look in the garage themselves? Maybe someday was now? Mom did I tell you about my score in the bean bag toss? Did you know we're halfway through a game? If not now, when? In 30 minutes? Before lunch? After lunch?  And  because I just hoped the nagging would stop and I could drink my coffee in peace, someday came in less than an hour. And I found myself squeezing through the mattresses like a sardine and retrieving the box. And I put the game together, while they tried to grab it out of my hands. and I listened to them backseat drive that I should have put the black side up and not the wood side up, because that's how it is at Nana's. And I gave them the game and set it up upstairs so that I could have an entire floor separating us.

And now the screaming has started. The cries of injustice at the cheating ways of a 5 year old brother. The complete and utter heartbreak of losing your bean bag under a chair and being unable to retrieve it. The frustration of seeing your own imperfections, even though you envision hitting the target every time. The jealousy of someone else having a better score. And my heart is tired. These little trials of being 5 feel a lot like the tribulations of running a business.

Marketing research says on average you need to have 7-13 "touches" (interactions) with a customer to make them act on your call to action. I  am not a marketer, in fact, it's the part of running a business that I dread like nothing else. I don't like to repeat myself or toot my own horn. I hate to feel nagged and pressured and that's what so much of marketing, especially social media marketing feels like these days. But the proof is right there, isn't it? Seven to 13 bazillion "touches" from my boys and my sloth-like-can't-even-get-up-for-a-fresh-cup-of-coffee body was spurred to action. I felt defeated, but I acted.

I see other companies with their perfectly curated Instagram feeds and Facebook walls and daily emails and I get weary. I see my own weaknesses and imperfections as a marketer and know it is hurting my business. And I vow to try harder. But it feels wrong. It's like slipping on a dress that looks amazing on your best friend, and realizing it accentuates all your lumpy bits. You've got a different body. Your strengths are in different areas. You need a different dress.

So I'm trying to find my dress. The one that feels just right. The one that's classy and timeless, yet still says let's party with Verve!  The one that says, shop small because you're supporting a family. The one that says support this one-woman business, because although only 9% of small businesses make it past the 5 year mark, this woman has been toiling away for 10 years, through many trials and tribulations and nevertheless... she persisted.

Thanks so much for stopping by today.... and if you're still reading, thanks for taking the time to share the thoughts on my heart today.  The card shown is a throwback card to March 2015 that I thought really fit my words for today. Click here for the original post.

Stamps: Wings of Love, Masquerade, Better Together (Verve Stamps)
Paper: pool party, basic black (SU!), manila tag (Ranger), cream (Neenah)
Ink: archival black ink, scattered straw and tumbled glass distress paint (Ranger), Pan Pastels, Stamper's big brush pens in white, dark sepia, sanguine and cobalt green, white Gelato (Faber-Castell)
Accessories:  Gown Die (A Cut Above by VERVE), baker's twine